My thoughts on Robert’s endorsement of color blind relationships (his original post found HERE).
Yes, trust your eyes and your eyes only. But as humans, we believe what we have been repeatedly shown and taught. Bottom line is, in this society, we are taught from a very young age that the definition of pretty, or “fine” as you put it, is much closer to the natural look of a non-black woman than a black woman.
The saddest part about it is that you don’t realize the things that have influenced your opinions and beliefs. You can claim that you like what you like and it has nothing to do with race, which might very well be true. But you cannot claim that you came to that conclusion on your own. You have been told to believe that by outside factors since you were old enough to take in those factors.
So not only does society tell us that black women are not as beautiful or qualified as “others”, but now black men are agreeing with them. I am not at all blaming the entire issue on black men. I’m simply telling you the truth in that it feels like betrayal in the worst way. It also doesn’t help that in society, while black men are painted as the pinnacle of masculinity and sex appeal, black women are painted as everything that is wrong with women in the first place. There is no denying the countless negative associations with black women; negative associations that are sometimes founded, but not always.
The problem some people (me included) have with you, Robert, is that you continue to perpetuate these stereotypes by showing examples of them in your “myspace model” features, and your comments that support them. It’s just sad to see a black man so indifferent and show so much disregard for the bigger picture. This is especially true because black women will defend black men until we’re blue in the face, despite many of y’all having no education, jail records, illegitimate kids, entitlement issues, treating us like crap, etc etc. Despite all that, we remain loyal and defend you by saying there is no one else we’d rather be with, and meaning it.
Yes, black women need to wake up and expand their options, and it’s true that real love has no color (I totally agree with both statements). But that doesn’t mean it feels any less like a slap in the face when your actions join the voices of the rest of society in saying we’re not good enough. I know it’s not easy to be a black man. But the black woman is the only group in this society who has never turned her back on you, and probably never will. Think about that the next time you say loyalty has no place in our community.
